A girl came to apply for our management programme for a family managed business. Just as she left there was a call from her father stating that we should not give her the admission. This was new to us. Generally, we would receive calls pushing for admissions, whereas this was opposite.
In further conversation the father explained that the girl was their only daughter and he believed as a father, it was his responsibility to help her ‘settle’ - meaning get her married. It seemed that they had discussions and she was not agreeing. Now if she joined our course then she would have an excuse to postpone the marriage by two more years. And for the father, that was hindering fulfilment of his ‘responsibility’ to the daughter.
Being connected with the programme for family managed business for more than a decade, we have not seen much change in the attitude towards the daughters, particularly with the perspective of joining or even attending to the family business.
We have been told that when there is only one daughter the upbringing is different but when a son is born the same changes. A daughter very keen to join family business is actively discouraged and in case of a son even if he is indifferent, no stones are left unturned to convince him to join the family business. We cannot generalise, but what we are referring to is based on a big number of cases that we have witnessed.
We cannot ignore the elephant in the room of the practice of women exogamy in our society. After marriage the girl is expected to live with her husband and consider that as her family and her house. That fact drives many behaviours.
The parents of the girl, wishing for her successful married life will like to train her to be a good wife, a good daughter-in-law and eventually a good mother. So, they see no point in training her in the business.
The girls have been repeatedly told about the uncertainty of the post marriage situation. That it would depend on the attitude of the house in which she will get married to. The movies and TV serials project a stereotyped role of women – her helplessness and dependence on the men of the house and the importance of her being accommodative suppressing her own aspirations. Such grooming leads to a big number of girls abandoning the idea of their own aspirations and instead accept and surrender to fate. Consequently, many of them display no interest in learning from and about their family business.
The situation is further aggravated by the system of inheritance where till few years ago, girls were not entitled to inheritance from father and even in case where the family did consider it, they would like to keep her away from any stake in the family business fearing that eventually she may become proxy of her in-laws, who might influence the family business.
While these are our social realities, what is crucial is that in the process we miss out on some very important perspectives. Each family business should encourage the daughters to join the family business for the following reasons
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Family business is the best school for learning about life. Joining the family business can teach the daughters about the social realities and the insights about the business world. Active involvement even for a brief period in the family business can help her strengthen her character – that is – confidence, courage, conviction and compassion. Such exposure will help her boost her self-image which will be a life-long strength at her disposal.
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The family business is the steppingstone and not the destiny of the next generation. Thus, when the daughter joins family business, she gets business training that she can use in her life in future either supporting the family business of her in-law’s or even starting her own business.
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The concept of a nuclear family is growing. In such a case if something happens to the husband and if the wife has no clue about the business, there will be a disaster. On the other hand, if she was groomed with insights about the business, she would be better placed to digest the shock and manage the reigns of the business.
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Once upon a time the business used to happen in the male-dominated markets with men mouthing foul language and urinating anywhere. It was thought that women from decent houses should not visit such places. However now with business becoming space-neutral and time-neutral, the need to go to the ‘market’ is eliminated as one can work from anywhere. This has made business also gender-neutral and has opened possibilities of participation of women in the business.
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We are living in a time when Indra Nooyi and Naina Kidwai held high positions in business not by their look but by competing shoulder to shoulder with their male counterparts and proving their capability. This has exposed the myth that only men can do the business. It has shown that managing business is an art and science independent of the gender. Women are seen playing an important role in businesses world over.
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More and more women are getting educated and can actively contribute to the business, be it their father’s business, be it their in-law’s business or be it their own business.
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Often a concern has been expressed that in case of career women the formation of the children suffers. However, it has been proven by sociologists and psychologists that the role of mothers in bringing up the children is highly glamorised, and the role of fathers has been totally neglected. It has been proven that children of working women show higher sense of responsibility and maturity. Certainly, maternity is unique to females, but birth of a child is a comma in their life and not a full stop.
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The role of daughter-in-law in the business is also being increasingly realised.
Family business is the best school for learning about life. Joining the family business can teach the daughters about the social realities and the insights about the business world. Active involvement even for a brief period in the family business can help her strengthen her character – that is – confidence, courage, conviction and compassion. Such exposure will help her boost her self-image which will be a life-long strength at her disposal.
The family business is the steppingstone and not the destiny of the next generation. Thus, when the daughter joins family business, she gets business training that she can use in her life in future either supporting the family business of her in-law’s or even starting her own business.
The concept of a nuclear family is growing. In such a case if something happens to the husband and if the wife has no clue about the business, there will be a disaster. On the other hand, if she was groomed with insights about the business, she would be better placed to digest the shock and manage the reigns of the business.
Once upon a time the business used to happen in the male-dominated markets with men mouthing foul language and urinating anywhere. It was thought that women from decent houses should not visit such places. However now with business becoming space-neutral and time-neutral, the need to go to the ‘market’ is eliminated as one can work from anywhere. This has made business also gender-neutral and has opened possibilities of participation of women in the business.
We are living in a time when Indra Nooyi and Naina Kidwai held high positions in business not by their look but by competing shoulder to shoulder with their male counterparts and proving their capability. This has exposed the myth that only men can do the business. It has shown that managing business is an art and science independent of the gender. Women are seen playing an important role in businesses world over.
More and more women are getting educated and can actively contribute to the business, be it their father’s business, be it their in-law’s business or be it their own business.
Often a concern has been expressed that in case of career women the formation of the children suffers. However, it has been proven by sociologists and psychologists that the role of mothers in bringing up the children is highly glamorised, and the role of fathers has been totally neglected. It has been proven that children of working women show higher sense of responsibility and maturity. Certainly, maternity is unique to females, but birth of a child is a comma in their life and not a full stop.
The role of daughter-in-law in the business is also being increasingly realised.
On the other hand, the notion that women are better managers is another extreme. What is important is the task of managing and that is independent of the gender of the manager. Anyone who has to manage has to learn about the business, about the people and about all dimensions that go into consideration in making business decisions. And where does one learn that? Obviously, no place is better than family business.
Thus, it is imperative that family business groom their daughters in the business and inspire them to be achievers on their own might. They are not superior, but they are not inferior either.
The writer is Program Director of Asian Institute of Family Managed Business (AIFMB). She has been associated with the Family Business Movement since 2006. Currently she is involved in inspiring youngsters to join their family business at an early age. Prior to that she has done her MBA from K J Somaiya institute of Mgt Studies and MSc from Calcutta University.